Tomorrow I leave for three nights. All by myself. All alone, and completely terrified of what I'm going to face within the walls that are my body. I have this little fear in the back of my head or heart that I'll be empty inside. That there really will be nothing left of a person of any decency inside my soul. Egads -- what if I don't actually have a soul? Now, there's a thought that hadn't yet crossed my mind.
The monestary is quiet, reflective and the monks read during the entirely vegetarian, silent meals. You are welcome to go to services, which start at 3:20 am. I've challenged myself to at least once get up and go to services all day and just be within myself, quietly.
It's just one step. But one step closer to me, to home.
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